when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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