I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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