Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

True but thats because hes a fetus.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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(515): View more from Iowa

so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

the snow is so cold on my vagina.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

why do you have snow on your vagina?

(580): View more from Oklahoma

vodka and heels.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

(513): View more from Ohio

Get out now.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.

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(914): View more from New York

I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.

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