What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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