you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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