Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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