I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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