hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
