Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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