His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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