So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
