Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize
