My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
