She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
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It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
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She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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