Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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