this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
