im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
