Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
