Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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