I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
