Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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