BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
