She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
