Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
