just tell him i said nine months
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
