My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Randomize
