I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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