Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize