I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
