Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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