careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
