I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
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There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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