you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
