Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
