I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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