He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am one with the molecules
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
