did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
