I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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