I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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