She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
