people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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