Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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