whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
