She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize