she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
