I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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