I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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