Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
