he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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