how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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