how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
