talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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