Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
