I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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