I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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