I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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