i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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