It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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