Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
