Yo dont text me then not text me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
