If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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