Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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