is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
