come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
