I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
