Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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