I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
