he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
