Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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