Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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