this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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