someone owes me an orgasm
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize