I just made out with a guy for $7.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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