Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Couch. On fire.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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