Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
