It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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