Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
