I hope mine doesn't look like that
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
