I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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